One day there was a team of rowers who wanted to go out on their own. They started looking for a boat to rent, and came across one for a great price called the Good Boat. It didn’t look as nice or seem as big as the boats that the other rowers had, but the boat-maker assured them that the construction was high-quality and that they wouldn’t have any problems. And just to be sure, he was willing to join their team as their in-house Professional Boat Fixer.
They began their rowing journey and a little while later, the hull had a small leak. The Professional Boat Fixer sprang to action, applying all sorts of complicated looking patches. He worked long hours and was happy to regale anyone who would listen with the complexities of his solutions, so no one could complain. After awhile, the patch broke and another leak sprang up somewhere else, so the Professional Boat Fixer became very busy, fixing the fixes and new problems. He even hired Assistant Boat Fixers to work under him and help him apply his patches under his close supervision.
The rowers decided the wanted some new benches to sit on and some other items that the Professional Boat Fixer refused to create. So they found themselves a New Professional Boat Fixer to work in tandem with the Old Professional Boat Fixer, to be in charge Things the Old Professional Boat Fixer Will Not Do. The New Professional Boat Fixer was shocked to see the horrible state that the Good Boat was in. The New Professional Boat Fixer exclaimed, ‘I can fix that!’ The captain and other rowers were interested at first (not realizing they had such a problem) but the Old Professional Boat Fixer firmly explained that there was NO problem with the Good Boat or his fixes, and also, the furniture was all shoddy and the New Professional Boat Fixer was not to be trusted. Unable to continue to work on a sinking ship, the New Professional Boat Fixer left the boat, to be replaced by a string of Newer New Professional Boat Fixers. All of them tried to fix the state of the Good Boat, but they were bad boat-fixers and not to be trusted, or so said the Old Professional Boat Fixer.
At some point, the Old Professional Boat Fixer was promoted to oversee the rowers, in addition to the Assistant Boat Fixers. After all, there was a complex system of rowing required to keep the boat going straight (it naturally veered all over the place, in no predictable pattern), so it only make sense that he should oversee them.
To this day, the Good Boat is still chugging around the ocean, slow and not-so-steady. The Old Professional Boat Fixer and the Rowers are considering creating more Good Boats together, with the Old Professional Boat Fixer as the Overlord Good Boat Master. The Good Boat is considered a myth by some Professional Boat Fixers, but I have seen it with my own eyes and share this story as a cautionary tale.
Images by danslegrandbleu, law_keven, and rene_ehrhardt.